Turning on and tuning in...

At 3 pm on December 22nd, my mom and dad walk into the office of Jenny Heriot, my cochlear implant audiologist.  I brought a long a video camera to capture the moment when I would hear my first sound since I started to lose my hearing at age 2.

Jenny had on her desk, a huge box, in which it contained a back up processor, extra ear hooks, a colorful case cover for my processor (sort of like a protective plastic cover for iPhones and cell phones), hundreds of batteries, DVD's to help me with online sound exercises and an assortment of other parts and gadgets.  She went over the basic stuff that she felt I needed to know for now in order to operate the processor, and how to use the remote control functions.  Mom is still snapping photos for the book that I am to write one of these days, and my dad is sitting there with the most curious expression on his face (he is a little behind on all the new technology that is out there).

It was time to put the processor behind my ear and snap the magnetic transmitter to my head. It took me a few attempts to find the magnet under the surface of my scalp since my head was still a bit swollen from surgery. The processor had a wire that was connected to Jenny's computer, which had the programming software in it.  She explained to me that to start, the first sounds that comes from the software would be beeps ranging from 1-4 beeps. Each time I hear a beep, I am to tell her how many beeps I hear, as there will be a range of patterns that are inconsistent.  The beeps will start really soft, and get louder as I start to hear them. Jenny told me to be patient since many people have a hard time hearing the beeps at first since the tones and volume is so low.

When I was ready to listen to my first string of beeps, she told me to take out my left hearing aid so I couldn't hear anything but the sound that was going into my right ear. I'm sitting in my chair, as Jenny starts hitting certain buttons on her keyboard. I hear nothing. My parents are looking at me in anticipation. Let me note here that my parents are also able to hear the beeps that I am supposed to hear. So if the sound of the beep is too low for me to recognize, they can hear it since their ears are sharper than mine (obviously). I still don't hear anything, as the seconds go by.

All of  a sudden, I felt a huge jolt inside my right ear-almost as if I was electrocuted. The sensation of whatever it was that I felt made me literally jump out of my chair.  I must have yelped or reacted loudly, since Jenny turned off the beeps and signed to me in sign language, "Are you ok????". My mom and dad looked at me in disbelief and amazement.  I sat there, my eyes wide and shocked and confused and told them I was ok. Then I started to cry, as I realized that what I felt was actually a sound.  And it sounded HORRIBLE. But it was still a sound that my EAR heard.  Jenny started to ask me why I jumped and if I was in any pain, to which I responded that I was just completely surprised and shocked and that I FELT the sound more than I HEARD it. She explained to me that the electrodes in my cochlea were firing signals to my brain for the first time in a long time, and to feel the sound is a normal reaction from many people during their first processor activation.  Even though what she said made sense to me, I was blown away by the foreign sensation that I felt inside my ear and thought that if what I felt was sound, then what the hell did I do?? I then started to MISS the hearing that I had from my hearing aid. The sounds I knew for so many years were comfortable to me and familiar and I realized that I had a LOT of work ahead of me if I had to overcome the strange sensations of hearing with an implant.

It was the point of no return anyway....and I became excited to hear the next series of beeps from the software.  As Jenny started pushing buttons again, I felt/heard various beeps in an assortment of sound ranges.  It was difficult for me to count how many beeps she generated from the software.  All I could do was tell her that I felt sound in my ear and the intensity of which I felt the beeps. Sometimes the vibrations I felt came to the point of very uncomfortable and my ear and head would ache. We continued to program (map) the processor for four different programs. Each program would start a certain volume and increase up to 10. If I pushed program 2 on my remote control, the sounds increased even more, and so on.

After the four programs were set at a volume that was comfortable for my ear, she then had me put my left hearing aid back in to see how I could hear with the two devices working together. It was a relief to put in my other hearing aid, as it brought my sense of balance back to almost normal. But as I listened to Jenny, my mom and my dad talk, what I was hearing sounded SO bizzare to me. They DID sound like Mickey Mouse (as all my deaf friends who got implants told me it might sound like). Imagine listening to someone talk into a tin, aluminum can, and their voices echoing off the can. And their voices sounded echoey, as each letter and syllable entered my ear and started firing off sounds in a new way that my brain has not processed. Even as I started to SLOWLY adjust to the new sounds I was hearing, I almost couldn't stand it, and all I wanted to do was rip the processor off my head and go back to that muffled, amplified sound I knew so well. Even no sound at all was better than what I was hearing.

Jenny continued to reassure me that all that I was experiencing was perfectly normal and that I needed time to get used to it. She showed me the homework assignments that I needed to do while at home with family members or close friends. There was a list of words that all sounded similar or had similar syllable structure and sound. While practicing with someone, I am to repeat back the words that are read from the list while my left hearing aid is out. I needed to start depending on my right ear for my hearing needs and to start training my ear to distinguish one sound from another.  I only had the processor on for about 40 minutes at this point, and already I was overstimulated and mentally exhausted and emotionally drained.  I really thought that the processor would be turned on and I would "hear" like I did with my aid on, but that it would just be louder and clearer.  I had NO idea that I would be hearing the way that I was, and that the volume of the processor was still so low that I could only handle hearing sounds at a whisper. Anything louder than that made my ear ache and throb from the vibrations that were occurring inside my cochlea.I was frustrated that the volume at which I was hearing was set so low. I was so sure that I was going to walk out of her office with a better sense of hearing.  I was extremely disappointed in the quality of sound, yet I also realized that the implant had so much potential to reach a level of sound that would be equal to a person with "normal" hearing.

Before I knew it, the appointment was coming to a close and Jenny was rescheduling me to come back for my 2nd mapping on December 29th, 7 days away.  The goal for our next appointment? I was to be listening at program four, volume 10!!  I had 7 days to work through the programs and volume so that I would be ready to have my processor turned up even louder! My days ahead would be filled with exploring my new world of sound......


(to be continued...)
More CI info